Rainy Daze

Today I miss my daughters.  It's raining here.  My feet are stiff and there's a dull ache in the top of my back.  I peer out the window at the tiny raindrops that landed on the glass.  Slowly two small beads of rain slide down the glass as I just stare in a daze, remembering my daughter telling me once that in the car on drives to the Carolinas, she would watch two raindrops slide down the glass as we drove and pretend they were racing.  

I used to play in the rain with soap with my girls.  Outside we would go, lathered up and dancing in the rain wild and free feeling it pelting against our warm flesh.  We would laugh and sing and stomp in the mud with bare feet, burying our toes in the sandy soil.  It was so much fun.  To me the best part was coming in and peeling off soaking wet garments, usually a slip or simple dress.  We would wrap ourselves in warm soft towels and feel fresh and dry.  My oldest would act like a wild bird.  Arms splayed about, she would run around and laugh with her eyes closed, sometimes sticking out her tongue.  My youngest would twirl an umbrella and stomp her feet in rain drenched grass.  Sometimes I would simply stand and twirl slowly, lathering myself.  The power of wind and rain filling my soul as my feet stayed grounded in the cool damp Earth.  Often my husband joined in.  He would skip around the open yard like a child, laughing and free.  

Long before those moments, it brought us reminiscent of the pleasure of abandoning our reserve.  The joy of being silly, being sensual, and the night we made love in an open field during a rainstorm.  I think if anything, we wanted our children to feel safe being  themselves.  To feel love and life with all their senses.  Taste it on the tip of their tongue, touch it and feel it on their tender skin, smell it...the Earthy wetness, listen to it make a melody, watch the beauty unfold before your eyes.  We never get to live one moment again.    Savor the rain and wait for the rainbows.  I hope my girls remember that.