The Meaning of Blue Roses

I love Walmart.  Today was a horrible experience for me at not one, but two different Walmarts.  First off I drove to the one in Perry Georgia.  I like that one because I always go and get the sewing stuff there. They have a better selection.  I finally was going to bite the bullet and get a sewing machine to replace the old Brother LS 2125 that has served me well since 2004.  It wasn't just that it's about to completely quit, but the fact it was an anniversary gift.  Now a sewing machine may not sound very romantic but to me it's something very personal.  It's a hobby, and it's something special to me.  To me it was a very personal gift.  So, with that said, it's an emotional thing to see it go.  My former husband died last December after he left me after eighteen years.  It's like a little part of who I am just keeps dying away.  That's a sad thing for me.  I spent many years making Christmas gifts,  cra...

I just peered around the apartment at the plants I just divided, and the ones that I still have to go.  Somehow I managed to swallow the lump that formed in my throat.  This is not what I used to do on a Friday night with no work on Saturday.  The brief sadness was swallowed down like any source of joy or pride that occupied my life just a few years ago now.  I'm strong.  I am intelligent.  I am safe.  I am loved.  I am alive.  Things are not what I thought they would be, or could have been.  However, happiness is all around me.  Fulfillment is mine to claim.   I pushed the memories of reading all those cookbooks and the strange things that took place to another place and another time in my mind. I have nothing to validate to anyone but myself.  I do not owe anyone an explanation for my life.  I'm here now. I was brought to this moment.  I thought of Esther in the Bible and perhaps I am exactly w...

God, I am so thankful for all the blessings in my life.  I'm thankful to wake up and feel the breeze brushing my skin and the warm caressing of the sunshine on my face.  I appreciate the opportunities this day has brought me.  I will try my best to not dwell on one hurtful  thing or one physical discomfort, but leave it to you to handle in your own time.   Please God be with my children and loved ones.  Let them feel my heart and know my love for them.  Be with the people that are harder to love, or don't love me.  They are probably hurting Lord, and are the ones that need to be loved the most.  Amen  P.S.  I sure would like a little fiest dog.  A small to medium size mutt.  Something that feels thrown away and needs to be nurtured.  Ebenezer Rouge needs a new friend.

What is going on with the lawyers and Peach County?  Why are they torturing me and following me around and going through my phone over and over and over and over and over and over and over again every single solitary day?  Every single solitary Facebook Messenger and Facebook page and something over a Paul Anderson and Paul Freshour, ATM cards, old DirecTV cards, HP Pavilion computers, lawyers and identity thefts and custody hearings and methamphetamine trafficking indictments retaliation for things I didn't know anything about.  What is this for?  Even my new Chromebook and phone and Callie's texts and photos stolen from phones and reading out everything that I texted to anyone.  Something about an Amy and Debbie and Doctors and nasty comments about me being a mother who doesn't want a relationship with her child.  Lies.  For the record my in-laws had her shut off all the lights and lock the door.  They refused to call me when my daughter found h...

For years now I have struggled with the ransomware and eavesdropping and stalked, identity thefts and DFCS torturing me.  Actually since the Banana Pudding Festival in Wilkinson County, Irwinton, Georgia.  Was that 2014 or 2015?  The endless accusations and eavesdropping cellphones over the genealogy and Facebook and lawyers and churches and nasty things.  Something over Jeff Smith.  Then David Allan Coe.  The unions at Boeing and Diamond Plastics Corporation and OSHA claims and whatever else. Of course I was terrified and left Diamond Plastics Corporation and then the Smiths attacked me over Accutane.  Insurance policies, eavesdropping and mixing me up with my first husband's mother in law Cathy, Cathy Alonso, a bunch of Kathy's and Katherine's.  AOL, Yahoo emails, Outlook account information, mean things over the wedding and addresses and photos and ransacking our home and vehicles and going through my home network.  Then eavesdropping on c...

Jim Souza isn't my problem.  That extortion won't help you. Bill Nobles isn't my problem.  Dennis Crabtree South Carolina and what's these people were saying about sex offenders for the school board and Bullock's for alienation from my daughter?  James Lee Knight extortion over listening to conversations at my parents house in SC and photos at Grandma's house in Hollywood Florida.  Nasty things.  Valerie Markhams son was another one.  Then Mark McDaniel, Maurice.  Fred Parker.  The extortion over Pornography and old photos and ransacking our home and HP Pavilion computers and old DirecTV cards.  Nasty things streaming through the Facebook and networks.  Over Ashley Madison, and child porn.  From Damon.  Later he tried to say Dodi purchased it but if she did he had her do it.  She was only seven years old when this surfaced the second time during our lives together.  Evidently an old email from steel group was used for...

So basically, it was school, lawyers, or other person able to access my account.  So I had to reset everything.  Basically somebody went in to get on everything probably to eavesdrop and terrorize me for lawyers or his family members again and again and again and again.  Rooks still investigating me for Damon's family?  I basically put the Chromebook up so they can't watch me with the camera.  Weirdo software for tracking and searching through my entire life for the lawyers and law enforcement officers.  Oh well.  Hopefully the prison isn't on there too this time.  What a mess that made of our lives.

They were going through the Facebook and AOL accounts.  They were streaming some little thing on Cat Island, as someone was at our home on the side door making smart comments about the cats piled up on little chopping block bar given to us by a Cris or Christine that painted with Damon and Adam Cochran.  What year was that exactly?  2014 or 2015. Later such things and books by Erin Hunter Seekers were mixed in to maximize the weirdness.

Who still wants to know about Uncle Butch?  SC?  Or UK Skype?   

SHE put meat in a pizza for a vegan fellow from India.  SHE left a piece of dog hair on the plate under the food of her drunken husband shortly before he left.  A little hair of the dog that bit you.  HE was on Ashley Madison every Wednesday when she was at church.  THEY were puking over the methamphetamine use and knocking holes in the walls.  THEY were roommates and swapped partners, and when one got pregnant of course the other split up and those two ended up together.  Happily ever after.  SHE mixed up a bunch of people from Facebook, and was attacked because they were after one she tagged as herself from the prison.  SHE owned or ran a small bakery and smuggled something in the pastries.  THEY went out drunk one night and pulled over by a concrete company and killed a man.  Beat him up and he died.  HE killed a woman from the old music festival.  A red jumpsuit and blond feathered hair.  A gold necklace with a horn or...

I thought of my girls again today.  I remember my oldest daughter going through my jewelry box and picking out what she wanted.  She was fascinated with each piece.  I also remembered both girls putting on makeup and fixing my hair.  Often I came out looking like a deranged clown, but they were making me beautiful. I remember the M&M episode with my youngest and her father yelling at her.  He thought she had eaten his M& M's.  A sweet lady from church left her an M&M candy tin that looks like the M&M Cafe.  I wanted her to remember sitting on the porch eating M& M's and being upset that some spilled in the dirt. and it would make ants come.  I told her not to worry.  It was okay.  It will grow an M&M tree.   I also remembered her favorite owl necklace.  A piece of leather and metal shaped like an owl on a silver chain, with peacock feathers on it.  It was given to her at Thanksgiving when we al...

So, we lived at 82 Perch Lane in Fort Valley from 2005 to 2019.  Around 2014 we had some kind of weirdo cyberattack and identity thefts and ransomware and extortion.  I know some of the people were like prisoners and they did something really really weird.  I won't go all into it but they were even doing like something over Ashley Madison and Internet activity.  Really strange things.  Scary  All the while this was happening, we tried to go about our lives together.  Family night at the fire pit or playing games and eating pizza and watching movies.  Date night once a month.  Church on most Sundays.  Idle chit chat with our families, working and school.  Even would share the prayer chain with my parents in South Carolina from my home church.   Next thing I know, somebody is like really weird eavesdropping and trying to mix me up with everybody.  Including people from the prayer chain and saying that conditions, mental...

Now they're on the Facebook going through the middle sister thing where they had some little post that asked what birth order you were in.  It's an old post.  Probably ten years ago now.  They're still doing it and I don't know how I know they're doing it but I know they're doing it and it's on my original Facebook that I can't access because they kept changing everything to log in.  The stalking continues.