The Meaning of Blue Roses

I so bad cannot and never could tolerate my children in distress or discomfort.   Shortly after Damons death, with my youngest daughter refusing to go home from the in laws, I would check her attendance to make sure she was okay or at school.  She was out sick one day and they behaved absolutely shocked and outraged that I would inquire about my daughter.   I found out that she evidently was feeling under the weather.  When you are emotionally under so much stress and then you physically feel bad it's a double whammy.  I ran and got her Earl Gray tea and honey, a few things to make her feel better.  I had kept trying to reach out to her and she finally told me that I could drop them off if I wanted to after work.   It was pouring rain and I drove all the way there to drop it off and they refused to answer the door, or phone again.  Just like Damon did.  They have absolutely tortured me with the identity theft and internet activ...

I sat on a bench in the small town where I came to interview.  It was exactly halfway between my home town and my current home.  I had been through such a hard time and was still going through something too incredibly weird for anyone to understand.   I had hoped it worked out. I sat on that little bench right across from the Small Town Bank. I had little or no money,  barely enough gas to get there and back for the interview.  I did pack a delicious little lunch.  It consisted of three little cuties,  a peanut butter sandwich, and a water bottle frozen to stay cool as it melted. As I sat there he walked by.  I smiled politely.  He had a grizzly smile that reminded me of a little song my daughter used to listen to about teeth just like a wolf.  As he walked by there was an older vehicle that had been pimped as they now call it.  You know, the fancy paint job, woofer speakers and custom rims.  Long and sleek, maybe an old L...

Watching the children's church singing and doing a children's service this morning reminds me of my own girls.  Days of singing and doing the children's church.  The source of joy it brought to watch them grow and learn.  Hearing them sing songs of praise and anxious to answer questions and listen to the service. Matt Preston and Iceland and Facebook?  I'm not on Facebook.

I would tell her that I love her smile and I like her own personal style.  She is wonderfully made.  I would tell her how much I miss her hugs and bringing her a treat of peach cobbler or pie and watching TV.  I would tell her how much fun I had on our ordinary adventures.  I would tell her to love herself.   God I pray for blessings for my children.  I pray for happiness and love.  I pray they know I will never give up on them.  I believe in them and cherish them.  I pray God that you have your hand on her every single day.  I pray that no matter how difficult they are or how hurtful they know my love is deep and endless.  God I pray that they make healthy decisions, wise decisions and remember the golden rule to treat others as they would be treated.  I pray that they know you're watching over them, and there is nothing that escapes your eyes.  God you know our hearts, you know our intentions and you know our words ...

I opened the door to leave work and a wave of heat hit me like an oven that had been slow roasting all day.  Driving home the weight of the day decended on me with my limbs heavy and weighted.  I was actually exhausted. A sluggish tiredness washed over my body.  Each step towards my tiny apartment world in the corner of the huge building pulling me.  Perhaps I passed another tenant downstairs and gave a feeble greeting.  Up the twenty four flights of steps and down to the very end of the hall, I fumble with keys to unlock the door.   The cool air from the fan and air conditioning hit me like a soft breeze from heaven.  The tiny beads of sweat drying and cooling me as my purse and keys were carelessly tossed on the table.  I stripped out of my scrubs, gave Ebenezer Rouge an affectionate stroking as he was so eager to see me.  He started softly brushing his face against me and purring.   I said "Ebs, today we take a nap".  I...

So this morning I'm sitting here trying to look something up on Swanson.  It keeps pulling up a Sean.  Sean. Not Shawn. It was Kimberly at first.  So weird.  Almost like wi-fi interference and whatever from the eavesdropping.  I absolutely hate it because of what they did from prison and then when nobody believed me it made it even worse.  I mean it's like I was sitting here trying to tell Diamond Plastics that somebody from the prison was eavesdropping and I was inundated with all these resumes these weird weird resumes for employment from the prisoners in Georgia.  The calls all night on the cell phones, and VTech home network phones.  I mean the weirdness was like so weird and that started around 2014 and just continued from there so somebody is still doing something.  Often I suspect garden variety identity theft or creepy lawyers that use other people's problems to hurt people.   In fact after the lottery fiasco and fraud surro...

Stop being angry at others for your own decisions.

Wonderful day today for the Peach Festival.   I wanted to purchase two bags of peaches so I can give some to my clients.  But everyone was insistent on getting them and I hoped to buy just a bag.   I ended up with a bag and a half and paid for two bags.   No good deed goes unpunished.  I so enjoyed getting out and seeing people in the community and talking with them.     I enjoyed my walk home.   I saw a little kid that had watched the parade as I was heading in and I asked her mother if I may give her a peach on my way out.  Her mother said it was okay. The little girl was so tickled I wish I had given her two.  Around the corner I head and then I spilled my chicken wings.   Smiling I pick them up gave them one quick blow and put them back in the little paper tray.   It turns out the five second rule is not pulp fiction at all.  They were pretty good.  I get home and as I passed my ...